Our Big Yes vs Joy

Who can actually receive the money.

This is the first thing to settle, because everything else only matters once you can be paid. On Our Big Yes you connect a payment account that is already yours: your own Stripe account internationally, in any currency Stripe supports, or Paystack, Yoco, PayFast or iKhokha if you are in South Africa. Gifts settle where your other money settles.

Joy publishes that "the Joy Wallet is only available to couples residing within the US", and that card cash funds are available for the United States, United Kingdom, Canada and Europe (EUR). Joy also states that "all cash funds use your account’s default currency, which is based on your country".

Joy has a second route: gift links for Venmo, PayPal and Cash App. We will not tell you where that route works, because Joy itself says it is "not affiliated with PayPal, Venmo, or Cash App and we do not have internal specifics on their policies". If that route suits you, ask Joy and ask the app.

What the guest pays.

On Our Big Yes we add nothing to what your guest chooses to give. The only fee involved is your own gateway’s standard processing fee, the same fee it charges any business that uses it, and it goes to your gateway rather than to us.

On Joy’s card route, guests pay a 3.5% fee per contribution. Joy describes it as "applied by Stripe, our payment partner. This fee is paid by the gift-giver on top of their contribution. Joy does not keep it as revenue", and says most of the fee goes directly to their payment provider. Joy’s own worked example: a $100 contribution is charged as $103.50, and the couple receives the full $100.

On Joy’s app route, Joy says gifts are "completely free for you and your guests with no Joy fees, no processing fees on our end". If your guests are happy to use Venmo, PayPal or Cash App, nobody pays anything.

What the couple pays to withdraw.

Our Big Yes charges nothing to move money, because there is nothing to move. Gifts are already in your own account, and your gateway settles to your bank on its own schedule and its own terms.

Joy charges a "$1.70 flat transfer fee" on each withdrawal from the Stripe balance. Joy’s own example: a $500 transfer nets $498.30. It is a small amount, but it is worth knowing about, because Joy’s headline copy about zero fees does not mention it. Nothing dishonest is going on: the figure is published in Joy’s help centre, which is where we read it.

Where the money sits.

We never hold, route or process gift money. There is no Our Big Yes balance, no wallet and no payout queue, because the gift never passes through us.

On Joy’s card route, contributions land in a Stripe Express account surfaced as the Joy Wallet, and you click Transfer to move them out. Joy publishes the timing: contributions reach the Stripe account in 1 to 3 business days, sometimes 5 to 7, and transfers out are typically delivered in 3 to 5 business days.

Joy’s app route is not custodial either, and it is fair to say so: those gifts go directly to the couple’s own external account rather than into a Joy balance. The trade-off Joy flags is record keeping, since those gifts are not automatically tracked: "Your Venmo, Cash App, or PayPal.Me account is the only reliable record of these transactions."

What you get besides the registry.

Our Big Yes is a whole wedding site, not a registry with a page attached: ten themes, household RSVP with a secure personal link per household and no guest accounts to create, and a shareable address at join.ourbigyes.com/your-names or your own custom domain. Building all of it is free, and the once-off fee is only due when you publish.

Joy gives you a website, planning tools and a registry at no cost, with no paid website tier at all. A custom domain on Joy is extra: Joy says it "typically costs around $19.99 per year, though the exact price can vary". Joy also runs Joy Shop, a physical gift registry store, which Joy publishes as "only available to couples residing within the continental US". We do not offer a physical gift store at all.